AFRAID

I am afraid of ......
Pain. I do not like to be in pain. It scares me.
Biological dad. I am to the point now that I won't even answer the door or the phone just because I am afraid that it will be him.
Darkness. I have a night light in my room. When I enter a new room there has to be at least a little bit of light or I will panic. I really don't like a lit up room, I like dim, just not pitch black darkness that hides everything that is in it. Someone can jump out and kill me without me ever seeing it or noticing that he is right in front of my my face until I am in pain.
I am afraid of love. Of opening myself up again, and letting someone in. I am afraid of getting hurt and attatched to something that wont last.
I am afraid of needles. I can't even look at them, when they are in somone or not.
I am afraid of growing old alone, without anyone to love and hold me through the years of my life.
I am afraid of deep water. I have alot of nightmares where there is a something giant, comeing up out of the darkness of the deep. Whether the animal is dangerous or not, I will still be really scared. I don't like to go somewhere I can't see the bottom or anything where I just feel vunerable and where I can't touch the bottom.